Thursday, 27 September 2012

OMG Someone bought one of my books!

That means I'm now officially an author! And it wasn't my mother either. At least, I hope it wasn't because I haven't owned up to her yet that I write erotic fiction. My siblings know, but it wasn't them either, because I haven't told them my website name yet. And it wasn't yippee, some random person landed either on my website or blog, and liked the extracts enough to actually buy a book, and then liked the book enough that they kept it and didn't return it.

Of course, the downside of this is that I then spent the entire morning hitting refresh on my Amazon sales account page, my Google Analytics real-time page, and my web hosting stats page.

Stats remained at 1, 0, and 3 for the entire morning. My Blog stats page, on the other hand, jumped from 1 to 2, causing a temporary frenzy of page refreshes. Eventually my mouse-click finger became worn out and I went and found something better to do.

My next goal as an author: having someone who likes one of my stories enough to review it. Actually, I'd settle even for someone who hates one of my stories enough to review it. Any kind of feedback will make me happy...although some kinds will make me happier than others of course.

After that, perhaps I should aim for the dizzy heights of making enough money to buy lunch in my local sandwich shop. I need another six sales for that, although due to Amazon's payment schedules I won't be enjoying the sandwich (coronation chicken on a white baguette with salad but not spread) until January 2013 at the earliest.


The Persuader

Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Bucket List

Bucket list time. Hmm...learn to surf, check; ride a motorbike, check; conduct an orchestra...still a bit to do on that; work in the sex industry - hey, that's this blog!

I figure I'm too gnarly to star in a porn film, even though my girlfriend says I have a big dick. Wait! Or was it that I am a big dick? Whatever! Anyway, I reckon that if people like my stories enough, I can tick this one off too. Otherwise, I'm just going to have make the film after all.

Imagine what fun I can have from now on when people ask me what I do. Now I can reply with a straight face that I work in the sex industry and watch them try not to splurt their coffee all over the room. I may even get banned from the vicar's tea party.

I write erotically themed hypnotism and mind control stories. My first is published today! I try to write humourous stories, often with a twist, so if your humour is on the same wavelength as mine I'm sure you will enjoy them. If that interests you then check out my work on my website. If not, well, back to Fifty Shades of Grey for you.

The Persuader